“You know Old Town Rd?”, asks me a Canadian journalist friend with whom I share (going to festivals costs a fortune) not only a room, but also the program of the Toronto Film Festival. And yes, I know this song is catchy, controversial and ahead of its time compared to the mix of pop, hip hop and country in vogue now (see Beyoncé). I know her above all for the video, one of those that are not easily forgotten especially for people like me who live in America.
Lil Nas, the documentary directed by Zac Manuel and Carlos López Estrada, follows the singer and rapper in the 60 days of his first tour in America (it is now available on demand on Italian platforms). Structured as a diary, it offers a portrait of an artist reflecting on identity, family, expectations, acceptance and his role in the history of black and queer artists.
Born Montero Lamar Hill in 1999, raised outside Atlanta in a poor family, bullied for his homosexuality (he came out at the height of his success during Pride Month in 2019), Lil Nas social, using the tools he had at hand: the Internet, Soundcloud, BeatStars, Instagram, TikTok, achieving success with Old Town Rd, 19 weeks at number one on the Hot 100, six nominations at the 2020 Grammys with two wins (best pop duo/group performance and best music video) for the remix with Billy Ray Cyrus. We talked about it with Lil Nas X and the two directors Zac Manuel and Carlos López Estrada.
How did the project come about?
Carlos López Estrada: I had collaborated on some of his music videos in the past and he invited me to do some brainstorming while they were trying to put the tour together. I thought it was over, but a few months later he called me telling me that he wanted to document everything with the help of a documentary maker who has been following him for a while.
Zac Manuel: I am And we were struck by the humanity of an artist who, while inspiring so many to embrace their queer identity, is still learning to fully embrace his own. Many people think that Montero has it all figured out, but behind the show is a person who is looking for the same things that many of his fans are looking for. He wants to be accepted by his family, find security, embrace his identity outside of binary definitions, yet every night you find him there, on stage, giving himself completely to thousands of people. This courage is what makes Montero Lamar Hill Lil Nas
Did you take inspiration from other documentaries?
Estrada: A film we thought about at the beginning is In bed with Madonna, there are also parallels in the poster. And then we tried to capture the humor of social media, in the world where Montero communicates with fans, which had to be at the center of the film. We wanted to capture how quickly things move.
Manuel: At the end of the tour we showed him the first cut. We thought he would analyze it, destroy it and ask to put it back together. Instead he got up from the chair and started dancing, he was very happy.
Nas, what kind of agreement did you reach with the directors on what to show and where to stop?
Lil Nas: We cut some scenes, but we showed the most important things, trying to explain what happened to me, what my beliefs are, the wrong ideas that the world had about me. It's like letting someone into the room where you sleep, into your privacy, revealing yourself defenseless, and other things like letting people know my family is made up of crazy people. I know there are people out there who can relate to what I experience in some way and so I wanted to let my guard down, be vulnerable, delve into the unconscious without being super intellectual.
What did you want to show about yourself in particular?
Lil Nas: That I'm a human being with strengths and weaknesses, and not an online troll or an over-the-top queer musician. I wanted to show the people around me, people who helped shape the person I am. After coming out I was against doing anything feminine or even having gay men on stage with me. I wanted to be the gay that everyone likes. If I have changed it is thanks above all to the team of black queer dancers with whom I performed every night. I love them, I like that they are full of life, confident. I know I'm having one of the best times of my life, I love what I do and the people I work with: I'm able to finally be with other young black gay men. We share little things in common and it's amazing, I don't think I understood the value of this space before until I found myself in it.
One of the most touching moments of the film comes towards the end, where you show a clip of Little Richard's famous 1972 interview with Late Night Line-Up of the BBC in which he declares that he never wants to hide any part of himself. Is Little Richard an inspiration of yours?
Lil Nas: He was a source of inspiration. I don't know if he ever explicitly declared himself gay, I think his story is sad, it's the story of many queer people and that's why I wanted to include portraits of pioneering queer black artists in that part, including Tracy Chapman (she never declared herself, it was her ex, the writer Alice Walker, who spoke about it in these terms, ed), Frankie Knuckles, Ma Rainey and Sylvester. They did extraordinary things, but they are forgotten by history.
You've talked about your relationship with your family, your nephew Chase who is your first fan, brothers JR, Lamarco and Tramon who are credited with inspiring you to come out as bisexual, your stepmother Mia. But it is your father Robert Stafford that the film pays the most attention to.
Lil Nas: Even though my family has learned to accept both me and my sexuality, I always have qualms, there is a struggle inside me when I see them. In the film there is a key moment: before the concert in Atlanta, our city, I have to choose clothes and I specifically choose a checked punk skirt and a rainbow Balenciaga top to go and meet my family. That skirt represents a moment of transition for me, an important detail. It's easy to go onto a video set and do a super gay thing, but showing up in front of your family and wearing a skirt and a t-shirt with all versions of the LGBT flag on the back was liberating.
And your father?
Lil Nas: There was some tension with him when I told him I was homosexual. He thinks he once asked me if it was the devil speaking through me. Now when he talks about me it only reveals his love and support for me. He also understood that on stage, I'm not Montero, but Lil Nas. I will never forget his words: «Be yourself. Show yourself for who you are. We all support you, we all love you, we know your story, we know where you come from and we're excited to see where you go and what you do.”
