At some point after Taylor Swift had gladhanded her way up to the stage for the second time on Sunday night, I found myself on the Wikipedia page for the 2016 MTV Video Music Awards. In case time and pandemic-induced trauma have robbed you of those memories, that was the year Rihanna performed four times and Beyoncé played a five-song medley from Lemonade. Pretty much, we used to have stars. We still do, but when a 68-year-old Madonna is the only one injecting any verve or danger into the evening’s proceedings, your awards show has officially ceased to be cool. And without cool, what do the VMAs have to offer?
Watching tonight’s ceremony, I zeroed in on the music stabs that played between segments: Slayyyter’s “DANCE…”, Ella Langley’s “Choosin’ Texas,” Troye Sivan’s “Party.” How could it be so clear to me and not the producers that these are the artists that should be performing at your awards show? Instead we got Lisa doing another “Like Jennie”; Shaboozey doing, in his own words, “another bar song”; and a pre-shot “halftime show” segment where someone called “Warren Zeiders” mugged for the camera while dressed in an Under Armour compression top and matching stetson hat. Hattie Lindert, who’s helming this recap with me, put it best and most succinctly: There really are whole other worlds out there. —Walden Green
Madonna Kicked Down the Doors
With five performances under her belt prior to tonight—including at the inaugural ceremony in 1984—”Madonna” is practically a synonym for “VMAs.” Let’s take it back to the turn of the millennium. The question on everyone’s lips: Who’s next in line to assume her throne? Will it be Britney or Christina? So, of course, Madonna gets them both to kiss the (proverbial) ring. Now, 23 years later, the Queen of Pop has decisively chosen her next ladies-in-waiting. As the evening’s opening act, she pulled out all the stops for an elaborate medley inspired by her Confessions II short film, with plenty of special guests in tow. Madonna brought out Sabrina Carpenter for “Bring Your Love” (Hattie: “she is not playing that piano lol”) and Charli XCX for their new “Danceteria Afterhours” remix. Then things got trippy. Zoom in; enhance: Is that…Sombr? Julia Garner dressed as Blonde Ambition-era Madonna? Seth Rogen in Mapplethorpe drag? Fake Keith Haring? Real Debi Mazar? Seems like until further notice, it’s still Madonna’s house, Madonna’s rules. —Walden Green
Kacey Musgraves Does Dolly’s Greatest Hit Justice
It’s only right that Kacey Musgraves got the call for the inevitable Dolly Parton tribute at the VMAs. She’s been getting in reps during her Middle of Nowhere tour, but more importantly, she’s the modern mainstream musician closest to carrying forward Dolly’s open-hearted strain of Southern hospitality. Still, Musgraves managed to exceed even high expectations when she tackled Parton’s most enduring hit, “I Will Always Love You,” with characteristic grace from a small circular stage, kept company by just a pianist and a heavy-as-heaven wig. (Would Dolly want it any other way?) After Musgraves concluded her larkish rendition—close enough to Dolly’s original that the reverence came through but personalized enough to underscore the reason she was there—a video played of a thirtysomething Dolly, fresh off a live televised performance of the goodbye she wrote all those years ago. —Hattie Lindert
Daniel D`Amico for SANREMO.FM
