Eminem’s mother, Debbie Nelson, with whom the rapper had a complicated, often contentious relationship, has died. She was 69. Dennis Dennehy, Eminem’s longtime representative, confirmed Nelson’s death to Rolling Stone. A cause of death was not immediately available.
Nelson gave birth to Eminem (real name Marshall Mathers), her eldest son, on Oct. 17, 1972, when she was 18. In a 1999 Rolling Stone profile on Eminem, Nelson said that she married Eminem’s father, Bruce Mathers, when she was 15, and he was 22, and that the couple spent several years playing in a band together called the Daddy Warbucks.
Not long after Eminem was born, Bruce left the family, and Nelson raised the rapper and his half-brother, Nathan, largely on her own. They shuttled around Michigan and Missouri for years before finally settling in Detroit.
While Nelson maintained that she provided financial and emotional support for her son, Eminem said in that 1999 story that they fought constantly. He accused her of stealing his paychecks, frequently kicking him out of the house, and popping pills and taking other drugs, which triggered mood swings. (Nelson denied ever doing drugs.)
As Eminem turned to music, Nelson became a frequent target and antagonist. On “My Name Is,” Em’s line, “I just found out my mom does more dope than I do,” prompted Nelson to file a $10 million defamation suit against her son. While Nelson won the suit, she reportedly only received $25,000, most of which went to pay legal fees.
Despite the legal battle, Eminem continued to write scathing bars about Nelson on songs like “Kill You” and “Cleanin’ Out My Closet.” Nelson, in turn, actually lobbed a diss track of her own at her son. In the early 2000s, a hip-hop group called ID-X asked Nelson (then going by Debbie Mathers-Briggs) if she wanted to put out a CD of her own, and she agreed. One of the resulting two tracks, “Dear Marshall,” found Nelson reciting an open letter to her son, where she alternately chastises her son and admits some mistakes of her own.
“Marshall, I did the best I could,” she says at one point, “I went without seeking half/It was wrong on me and I see it now as giving you everything/And never questioning anything you did/As you were perfect in my eyes/My unconditional love created a spoiled young man.” And at the end, she chides, “Will the real Marshall Mathers please stand up/And take responsibility for his actions?”
Then, in 2008, Nelson published a tell-all book, My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem. In an interview with MTV News at the time, Nelson said of her son, “He never knew his father, and I did all I could to make up for it. I wasn’t happy when he made up a whole new life for himself — what mother wants to be known as a pill-popping alcoholic who lives on welfare? To tell the truth, I was heartbroken. The lies started coming thick and fast — and not just from Marshall… I think he’s forgotten the good times we had, and this book is my way of setting the record straight.”
While the exact nature of Eminem’s relationship with his mother in recent years is unknown, there were some signs that tensions between the two had eased. On his 2013 song, “Headlights,” Eminem apologized to Nelson, expressing regrets over “Cleanin’ Out My Closet” (“That song I no longer play at shows/And I cringe every time it’s on the radio”) and stating at one point, “Cause to this day we remain estranged and I hate it though/Cause you ain’t even get to witness your grandbabies grow.”
More recently, in 2022, Nelson celebrated Eminem’s induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. While Nelson didn’t attend the ceremony, she wrote on Twitter at the time (via People), “Marshall, I want to say, I could not let this day go by without congratulating you on your induction into the Hall of Fame. “I love you very much. I knew you’d get there. It’s been a long ride. I’m very, very proud of you.”
Daniel D`Amico for SANREMO.FM
