John Mulaney Has An Update About His ‘Feminine Hips’

Comedian and actor John Mulaney returned as Saturday Night Live host with a not-so-good update about his “feminine hips“: he may end up needing hip replacement surgery.

Mulaney, who most recently hosted SNL in February 2022, becoming a five-timers club member in the process, joked about aging. At 42, he doesn’t feel all that great, he said.

“My parents picked a bad time to get old. When I was younger, I maybe could have helped them. But I can’t now. I’m 42. I don’t feel well either,” he said. “My brother called me in April. He goes, ‘Mom fell.’ I fell! It hurt!”

“I also have a Band-Aid on the top of my hand. Older folks love a Band-Aid on the top of the hand,” he continued, imaging how they could all be injuring their hands the same way, like by fending off knife-wielding robbers with their palms facing in.

Mulaney then revealed that he has a tear in his right labrum, and goes to weekly physical therapy for it–along with three older women.

“We lay on mats. We press the small of our backs into the mats to stabilize ourselves. Then, we do these tiny little crunches to strengthen our muscles and vaginas,” he joked. “And we work really hard. We cheer each other on. There’s silver hair and turquoise jewelry everywhere.”

And then, the bad news: “Out of all the women in the class, the teacher singled me out and said that I’m not going to benefit from physical therapy long-term and I wouldn’t even benefit from a laparoscopic procedure, and that I should eventually have hip replacement surgery.”

“I’m going to get my hip replaced,” he said, “and my mom is going to give me a ride home.”