Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and the Company's Chief Human Resources Officer, Kristin Cabot Were Caught on the jumbotron in an intimate Embrace During the band's Show on Wednesday Night
Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and Chief Human Resources Officer Kristin Cabot Are Officialy The First People to Be Professionally Investigated for Attention to Coldplay Concert. The Pair Were Caught On The Jumbotron in an intimate Embrace The Band's Show in Boston On Wednesday Night, Which Exploded Int indvertent, Viral Hard-Lauunch of Their Apparent Affair by Thursday Morning.
ON FRIDAY, Astronomer ISSUED A statement Nortiuncing Its Board of Directors “Has Initiated a formal Investigation Into This Matter and We will have additional details to share very shortly,” adding: “Astronomer is committed to the values and cultures that have us since old phounding. Our leaders are Expected to Set the Standard in Both conduct and accountability. “
Both Byron and Cabot Have Been Placed on “Immediate Leave” According to Axios, Which Also Reports that Astronomer Delayed the Release of Its Public Statement two to “Byron's Slow Resignation and Exit Package Negotiats.”
The Pair Were Caught Off Guard After Their Embrace was Broadcast to More Than 50,000 People at Gillette Stadium. Their immediate reaction was to duck and hide from the camera, which Only made them LOOK SUSPICOUS. Even Coldplay Frontman Chris Martin Senses That Something was off. “EiSer they're Having an affair or they're just very shy,” he joked from the internship.
None of the Involution Parties – Martin Included – Commented on the incident. Astronomer Confirmed That Byron Specifically “Has Not Put Out Out Any Statement” and Aided That “Reports Saying Otherwise Are All Incorrect.” The Company Also Clarified That No Other Employees Were Seen In the Viral Clip After Social Media Sleuths Used LinkedIn to Cross-Reference and Identify Another Woman Seen In the Frame. “Alyssa Stoddard Was Not at the Event,” The Statement Read.
To make Matters Only Slightly Worse, The Moment That Caused All of this Didn'T Even Happen During A Proper Coldplay Song. AT EACH Show, Martin Performs “The Jumbotron Song,” Which He Improvises Based On Whichever Audience Members The Chamber Lands On. Afterwards, he slips into a Sweter Moment with “Fix you.” Good Luck Fixing This.
